Enneagram Triads: The Harmonics
I was talking with someone about my book recently who asked, “What are the Enneagram Triads, actually?” Which inspired this 4-part series about them. Each article will describe what that group of Enneagram Triads are and how I use them as a map for clarity, compassion, and collaboration.
So, without further ado, here is part 3: The Harmonic Triads.
What are the Enneagram Harmonic Triads*?
Said simply, they are groups of Enneagram Types that have in common ways we react to and move in the world.
(*Dr. David Daniels calls these the Emotional Regulation Triads, with the labels of Sustaining-Expressing (Types 8, 4, and 6), Reframing-Shifting (Types 9, 2, and 7), and Containing-Rationale (Types 1, 3, and 5).)
Types 8, 4, and 6 are in the Reactivity Triad.
The Types in this Triad cope by feeling intensity and emotion, with a tendency to become emotionally reactive during conflict or stress. They have intense feelings and thoughts, which they hope will be mirrored by those around them. In conflict or difficult situations, they focus on self-reliance and injustice as they take the lead (Type 8s), want to be seen, understood, and supported (Type 4s), or feel anxious as they look for both support and independence (Type 6s).
Types 9, 2, and 7 are in the Positivity Triad.
The Types in this Triad cope by reframing or avoiding adversity, with a tendency to put an optimistic spin on conflict or stress. They reframe negative thoughts and feelings, which they hope will bring more contentment to themselves and others. In conflict or difficult situations, they avoid or deny what is happening in order to avoid disruption (Type 9s), focus on the needs of others (Type 2s), or seek exciting and positive alternatives (Type 7s).
Types 1, 3, and 5 are in the Competency Triad.
The Types in this Triad cope by using analysis and problem solving, with a tendency to stay rational during conflict or stress. They emotionally detach and stay calm, which they hope will bring objectivity and resolution to the problem. In conflict or difficult situations, they use logic to assess what went wrong in order to fix and improve it (Type 1s), create a plan for repair in order to feel achievement (Type 3s), or learn about the context in order to be confident about a solution (Type 5s).
How can we use the Enneagram Harmonic Triads as a map for clarity, compassion, and collaboration?
In my work as an executive coach, I take the role of a guide. Enneagram is a fabulous map of human motivation and behavior. But in order for a map to be helpful, we have to know how to read it and use it. So how do we use Harmonic Triads as a map to break out of the box that has been holding us back?
Clarity
There are many life layers that can affect the ways we respond to conflict, including attachment styles, cultural expectations, and more. Like every part of the Enneagram, we have to be careful to not make this too prescriptive or boxy. And yet.... When we know our dominant Harmonic Triad, we can have clarity about how our reactions and coping strategies are affecting those around us. I am in the Reactive Triad, which means I always want to talk about the hard things. Anything else feels inauthentic to me. So one day when something difficult happened with one of my children, I was once again sitting on the couch expressing everything and trying to get him to do the same, and he stopped me. He said, “Mom, you are overwhelming me. I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to space to solve it.” I was trying to help him cope using my coping strategy! And that’s not what he needed. The map of the Harmonic Triads can help us pause and ask, “How is my coping strategy affecting my approach to this difficult circumstance?”
Compassion
Conflict happens in the context of relationship. When we know our dominant Harmonic Triad, we can have compassion with those who are reacting to and coping with conflict differently. Going back to the example in the clarity paragraph, it would be easy to judge my son for being quiet, just as he could easily judge me for being loud. In order to find our way back together after a hard thing, we have to shortcut that judgment with compassion. Reactivity, positivity, and competency are all different reactions, not better or worse reactions. The map of the Harmonic Triads can help us pause and ask, “How can I make space for different coping strategies in response to this tension and difficulty?”
Collaboration
When hard things happen, we need space to express the hard things about what went wrong (reactivity), and to problem solve about how to make things better (competency), and to find the hope about what is still good (positivity). When we know our dominant Harmonic Triad, we can open up to what we haven’t dealt with in the process of moving forward. Some teams and couples are great at problem solving, but terrible at expressing. Others are great at finding the positive, but struggle to address the deficit that needs to be fixed. The map of the Harmonic Triads can help us pause and ask, “What have we missed doing as we have moved forward from this conflict?”
Where do we go from here?
Maybe you are reading this article and thinking, “This sounds great, but I don’t know my Enneagram Type or my Intelligence Center.” Or maybe you took a test for your Type once but haven’t known where to go from there. Or maybe you just need something more to get your Enneagram journey kickstarted. If this is you, sign up for my Break Out of the Box Enneagram Course. At just $59, this self-guided course with unlimited access to 19 videos, a robust course workbook, curated podcast playlists, and more, is a tremendous value.
If you are reading this article and thinking, “What are those images behind this symbols?” Or “Where can I get more information about Triads"?” then you should get my book, Out of the Box & Into the Wild: An Enneagram Journey through the Triads of Nature.
And of course, I will always have a bias towards coaching as a next step. Sign up for a consultation call and let’s talk about your right next step.
