In my job as a coach, I have that most paralyzing of situations in my work: choice. It is both the blessing and curse of entrepreneurship that there is so little that forces my programming and systems.

It means as I enter the fourth quarter of the year, I have to decide things about how to close out the year and what to aim for next year. My work is asking me, “What do you want to do?” and no one is telling me how to answer.

You might think that as an Enneagram Type 4, this would be ideal. I get to decide how to put my unique imprint on the world! But, as is true with all Enneagram Types, my desire is also my vice. Getting to decide what to do comes with deep struggles of identity. What if what I offer isn’t unique enough? Or authentic to my truest self?

This is a good first step towards using Enneagram as a discernment tool- to notice how the biases of our Type could be getting us stuck.

A step-by-step guide for start the Enneagram journey.

Step 1: Do not start with trying to figure out your Enneagram Type. Start with an Enneagram overview.

It’s a natural desire to jump to Enneagram Typing. Isn’t the point to figure out more about ourselves? But without an overview understanding of what we are talking about when we are talking about Enneagram, you increase your risk of getting your Type wrong. You will hear a description of “achiever” and think, “that’s me!” if you don’t take the time to learn that each Type can be an achiever, but with a different reason as to why.

There are beautiful but tender desires in each of us. How could our relationships and perceptions change if we paused to suffer with each Enneagram Type?

I was talking with someone about my book recently who asked, “What are the Enneagram Triads, actually?” Which inspired this 4-part series about them. Each article will describe what that group of Enneagram Triads are and how I use them as a map for clarity, compassion, and collaboration.

So, without further ado, here is part 3: The Harmonic Triads.

I was talking with someone about my book recently who asked, “What are the Enneagram Triads, actually?” Which inspired this 4-part series about them. Each article will describe what that group of Enneagram Triads are and how I use them as a map for clarity, compassion, and collaboration.

So, without further ado, here is part 3: The Harmonic Triads.

I was talking with someone about my book recently who asked, “What are the Enneagram Triads, actually?” Which inspired this 4-part series about them. Each article will describe what that group of Enneagram Triads are and how I use them as a map for clarity, compassion, and collaboration.

So, without further ado, here is part 2: The Energy Triads.

I was talking with someone about my book recently who asked, “What are the Enneagram Triads, actually?” Which inspired this 4-part series about them. Each article will describe what that group of Enneagram Triads are and how I use them as a map for clarity, compassion, and collaboration.

So, without further ado, here is part 1: The Intelligence Center Triads.

When you feel stuck in a decision, question, or struggle, it is likely you have only engaged in it from your dominant intelligence center. To get unstuck, you can try to “work the wheel” of the Enneagram circle, by moving through each intelligence center thoughtfully. It is helpful to use a journal or notebook to work through the steps.

Step One is to describe the issue.

What is a decision, question, or struggle in your life that feels stuck? Or in which next steps are uncertain? If possible, narrow it down to a question you are trying to answer or a problem you are trying to solve.

Step Two is to take that issue “to the wheel.”

First, answer 3-5 of the questions listed below your dominant center. (Which is the heart center for Types 2, 3, and 4, head center for Types 5, 6, and 7, and gut center for Types 8, 9, and 1.) After completing those questions, choose a direction– usually counter-clockwise feels most comfortable– and answer 3-5 questions from that second center, followed by the third center. After going through all three intelligence centers, take a step back and look at the issue again. Is there any more clarity? What is the next step you can take?

Repeat the exercise as needed.

To be clear from the beginning, this isn’t a story of arrival— I haven’t found a way to live in the virtue of my Enneagram Type all the time. I don’t really think that is possible. But I did have a recent experience of prolonged equanimity, and I want to write about it. This story could be of particular benefit to Type 4s, but I hope will provide insight and reflection for anyone wanting to move towards greater wholeness.

“According to the World Health Organization, burnout is a syndrome resulting from workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It’s characterized by three dimensions: feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion, increased mental distance from one’s job or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job, and reduced professional efficacy.” - Ashley Abramson, in the article Burnout and Stress Are Everywhere on apa.org

Are you feeling that way these days? Many of us are.

When struggle is present, our Enneagram Type patterns jump into action. Our Type patterns exist because they have “worked.” Our experience knows how they have helped us survive our lives to this point. In certain kinds of stress, we move with the arrows of the symbol, and away from the behaviors of our Type. Burnout and overwhelm are different.

We move towards burnout when we are doubling down on our Type patterns, even when they aren’t serving us well.

We get stuck inside that definition of insanity that names it as doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result. What if instead of doubling down, we used the wisdom of the Enneagram to choose something different? What if we opened to the energy of the arrow pointing towards our Types?

Recently I was working with a group of business leaders when one leader named struggles with productivity within her company. She asked the question, “What can I do to improve their motivation?”

My response was, “What if it’s not a motivation problem?”

Our Enneagram Type is one of many lenses through which we see challenges. It colors our perspective about what is going on.

I caught myself doing the same thing recently as I looked at my to-do list. I wondered why I can’t seem to get better at time management. I naturally thought that was the problem because that is usually a struggle for me- as a Type 4, prioritizing tasks is difficult.

After this interaction, I turned the tables on myself and asked, “What if it’s not a time management problem?”

In both her case and mine, the problem is with productivity or effectiveness. What if we don’t assume we know what “the why” behind that problem is just yet? How might we see the problem differently if we look through the lens of each Type? Could a novel set of questions lead to a new insight?

As an Enneagram Coach, people often come to me asking for advice on what to do once they know their Types. What does it mean to be a Type 6? How do I grow? What is work should I do to change old habits and move forward with more wholeness?

My first answer is always the same:

Practice the pause.

Pause… before you press share on that social media post.
Pause… before you text that friend (or ex or boss).
Pause… before you consume more information from the steam of news cycles.
Pause… before you do that thing you have to do for your kids.
Pause… before you get up in all your feelings about the tragedies of the world.
Pause… before you rant about what this or that person did wrong.

Spend that pause doing two things:

Orient and Ask.

First, take a moment to notice what is happening in you. Orient:

How do I feel in my body right now?
What am I thinking about? Am I thinking?
Where is my heart on the feelings wheel?

Second, take a more moment to notice your motivations. Ask:

Is there something I am afraid of?
Is there something I am looking for?

We can practice this pause in less than a minute. It’s a quick check in meant to bring our attention to the drivers that function underneath our actions. We may or may not change the action. Sometimes we don’t have to- we notice our motivations line up with our best selves. Sometimes we don’t have the strength to- we become aware of some old fears and desires laying underneath, but don’t have it in us to do something different. That’s okay. The awareness that comes through practicing the pause is enough for now. Eventually, this practice will help us respond with greater consciousness and presence.