Practice the Pause: Engaging in awareness as the pathway for growth.
As an Enneagram Coach, people often come to me asking for advice on what to do once they know their Types. What does it mean to be a Type 6? How do I grow? What is work should I do to change old habits and move forward with more wholeness?
My first answer is always the same:
Practice the pause.
Pause… before you press share on that social media post.
Pause… before you text that friend (or ex or boss).
Pause… before you consume more information from the steam of news cycles.
Pause… before you do that thing you have to do for your kids.
Pause… before you get up in all your feelings about the tragedies of the world.
Pause… before you rant about what this or that person did wrong.
Spend that pause doing two things:
Orient and Ask.
First, take a moment to notice what is happening in you. Orient:
How do I feel in my body right now?
What am I thinking about? Am I thinking?
Where is my heart on the feelings wheel?
Second, take a more moment to notice your motivations. Ask:
Is there something I am afraid of?
Is there something I am looking for?
We can practice this pause in less than a minute. It’s a quick check in meant to bring our attention to the drivers that function underneath our actions. We may or may not change the action. Sometimes we don’t have to- we notice our motivations line up with our best selves. Sometimes we don’t have the strength to- we become aware of some old fears and desires laying underneath, but don’t have it in us to do something different. That’s okay. The awareness that comes through practicing the pause is enough for now. Eventually, this practice will help us respond with greater consciousness and presence.
A more specific “ask” using each Type’s core fears and desires.
The Pause for Type 1. After orienting, ask:
Am I afraid of appearing wrong or being criticized?
Am I looking for a way to be right or justify myself?
The Pause for Type 2. After orienting, ask:
Am I afraid of feeling rejected or being unloved?
Am I looking for a way to make myself feel essential?
The Pause for Type 3. After orienting, ask:
Am I afraid of looking like a failure or feeling worthless?
Am I looking for a way to earn acceptance and admiration?
The Pause for Type 4. After orienting, ask:
Am I afraid of being abandoned or feeling insignificant?
Am I looking for a way to see myself as unique or separate?
The Pause for Type 5. After orienting, ask:
Am I afraid of feeling incompetent or getting overwhelmed?
Am I looking for a way to be independent and figure everything out?
The Pause for Type 6. After orienting, ask:
Am I afraid of the unpredictable or being without support?
Am I looking for a way plan for and create security?
The Pause for Type 7. After orienting, ask:
Am I afraid of being limited or getting trapped in difficulty?
Am I looking for a way to be satisfied and maintain freedom?
The Pause for Type 8. After orienting, ask:
Am I afraid of being betrayed or feeling vulnerable to another?
Am I looking for a way to protect myself or stay in control?
The Pause for Type 9. After orienting, ask:
Am I afraid of being separated from others or disrupted from peace?
Am I looking for a way to avoid discomfort and maintain stable harmony?
What could happen in your life if you started to practice the pause?
💛 Stephanie
